In which I have woe

Because it’s three weeks until Tallinn half marathon, because N is probably not running the marathon, which was the whole point of the exercise (his Achilles just is not playing ball).

So of course I don’t want to run it. I don’t see the point. I’m lousy at running. I’m rubbish. I’m slow. I look ridiculous. Why on earth would I want to travel that far to run a race that I never wanted to enter in the first place? Wouldn’t it just be cheaper, and less hassle, to stay at home and watch the Last Night of the Proms instead?

I also have woe because I don’t want to be in the position where the only hope of a baby is IVF. There’s been a massive spate of new babies on facebook this week. Two of my best friends are pregnant (and due within weeks of each other). My body is a failure. I am a rubbish gestational vessel. I am, frankly, old and past it. For running. For babies. For everything.

Next week we’ll have been married two years. Next week we’ll have been failing to conceive for two years. 95% of couples will conceive within 2 years….

Maybe I just need some chocolate?

xxx

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6 thoughts on “In which I have woe

  1. Sending a virtual hug. You’re absolutely not lousy at running. So stop that right now. You’re a damn good runner.
    I don’t have any words of wisdom about the baby thing… but I do understand the FB thing. All my friends getting married, pregnant or celebrating years of happiness together. And here’s me back to square one. It’s tough but comparisons with others are pointless. Be happy for them but don’t dwell on it. x

  2. I hope you had some chocolate. And don’t give up hope on the baby thing, you can’t predict these things.
    And you are a good runner-up speedier than me anyway! Just think of your race as a speedier sightseeing tour and enjoy . Or just look forward to the medal at the end.

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