I gained some weight

About 3lbs.

Weirdly, my mojo also appears to have returned, and, while I’m still worried about the state of the world, and the environment: I am not paralysed with gloom, my feet don’t feel like they’re numb and flying away from me so much, and I think I can actually cope.

Note to self. 8st 5lbs is low enough. And 8st 7lbs is frankly, fine. And more than that is possibly better still from the perspective of conceiving, so KEEP ON EATING AND DON’T BE SO DAMN STUPID AGAIN. Sheesh. I can feel this weight. But it’s OK. There is a reason for this weight (last checked, 8st 5lb….)

I’m now running to heart rate – I’m not aiming for speeds at present (the vicar may have achieved a 1:49:?? half marathon. I have other fish to fry). I’m aiming to stay in the moderate zone, and run about 15 miles a week in total. The idea being to put less strain on my system and, again, encourage the conceiving malarkey. Without going hatstand owing to lack of exercise.

Honestly. If they’re going to put me on pills for this, I’m going to give said pills the best chance they can have: because, IVF is, frankly, scary…

This evening, I’ve had a nice pootle round Boots and spent my Boots Points on a fancy schmancy reduced box of bath stuff from Champney’s, finally printed two letters for the IFA (a 5 minute job which has been put off for about 4 weeks), printed off a couple of knitting patterns, addressed envelopes which have been languishing round the sitting room for days, tidied various items, got stuff out ready for tomorrow’s race, finished the crocheted bunny rabbit, drained off the stock from the turkey carcass (and put said carcass in the bin ready for the bin men tomorrow) and I’m about to upload a couple of news stories for the county website before I sign off.

This is more like being me. I much prefer it. It may be a bit erratic, but this is good erratic.

xxx

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To Do

  • Run 31 miles before the end of the year (7 miles planned tonight – I am going to do 3 parks. I am. I am. 10 miles on New Year’s Eve…so, only need to find another 17 miles in the next few days. Easy). I did three parks! 7.5 miles boom! Then I failed to adequately rehydrate, and got a running-hangover. As at 28th December: 7 miles to go. Did 5 miles for 3 days running, and another 5 last night: it turns out I needed to do closer to 37 miles, as I’d managed to double-log one run.
  • Locate spousal Christmas card kit, make, present to him….
  • Fertility Consultant Appointment (at which I confidently expect to be told that I am ovulating, so why did we have to wait around for a month yet more tests on this particular question?) Well, it turns out that, after 2.5 years, and well over a year of tracking with various gadgets and *not* getting more than a couple of ‘you have ovulated’ smiley faces…I’m probably not ovulating that effectively. Hello Clomid. Which made me feel utterly loopy for the first hour or so after taking it. So may need taking at bedtime. And it’s taken everyone *this* long to suggest this as a method? Why did no-one do that cheapy-cheap (it costs about £5) blood test to check my progesterone mid-cycle this time last year? 28th December: well, it seems I have few side effects from Clomid other than being slightly more prone to tears and snapping than normal. I am lucky, it seems…
  • Very early appointment for mental health referral, fortunately on telephone (they lost my opt-in form, so I got fast tracked slightly). Referral for CBT. Really looking forward to getting a grip on this.
  • Add chicken to next Ocado order, so we can do roast chicken and then I can make more stock, and then make more excellent soup (so, this whole being more vegetarian thing is going gently – organic meat, and organic chicken do sneak in to the trolley on occasion. Plus, there is no sense in attempting a vegetarian diet at my parents’. It just causes woe).
    Remembered we have a turkey crown. Going to make stock from that.
  • Remember upholstery kit to take back to parents Woot!
  • Finish the tax return
  • Sort out a date for another flat inspection (have they managed to clean the cupboards at all? Or are there still sticky patches? Does the back bedroom reek of teenage boy still, despite being inhabited by a grown up?)
  • Try to get back on track with #fmslimphotoaday Still trying.
  • Turn off the social media for at least 24 hours (OK, doesn’t quite gel with the photo-a-day challenge…) and play Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit Actually did quite well. I’m still in my favourite Twitter conversation, but ignored facebook for several days. Have decided to basically ignore FB except where I’m actively needing to do something Guiding Related.
  • Finish @aminorjourney’s socks. Start L’s socks. Finish my cardigan. Start something else (I have a hankering for a gossamer weight shawl that looks like a snowflake, if I can find the Kid Silk Haze) Cardigan blocking. Socks still in progress. Found shawl pattern. Almost finished crocheted bunny. Finished off embroidery.
  • Buy coffee machine to cope with 8am starts in London on on-call days. Proper coffee is going to be required. Indecisive on this one. Debating with N.
  • Update County Facebook Group (when not having that 24 hours off)
  • Establish supplies needed for next year’s zombie felties present for E.
  • Synchronise iPod. Find Otherkin MP3.
  • Keep updating this blog…

xxx

Oh, eBay.

I now have jeans which fit. More or less. Well. They fit better than the ones that I could remove without undoing earlier in the week.

This makes a rather huge difference. One pair skinny jeans, one pair straight leg (basically, all that was available in the same cut as my ‘usual’, now no-longer-made, pairs). One inch smaller round the waist than my ‘usual’ pairs, and a grand cost of £15 plus some postage. Baggy jeans which aren’t actually cut to be baggy are the most demoralising leg wear option. They look awful, and are most uncomfortable. It’s just all wrong. I favour a Levi’s Bold Curve jean, which tends not to gape at the waist: I’m really picky about my jeans, and although I’ve tried lots of other brands, they never stay in the wardrobe for long.

Thank you eBay.

I have also discovered the wondrousness of Disney Albums. And have been merrily leaping around dancing like a four year old tanked up on Percy Pigs. It’s been grand fun. And, I had today off work – and slept in until 9.30am, and stayed in bed until 10.30am. We’re going to Venice tomorrow, for a short break, which will be lovely. I think I’m going to enjoy it a bit more, because I’ll be better rested for it. I’ve been for a 5 mile run today (bit faster than marathon pace, but not much) and tomorrow is parkrun. I may try out my new running leggings (TKMaxx – I am so fed up with the two pairs I possess which have zippers and which rub holes in my ankle every time I wear them). I will wear one layer fewer than I did today. 12 degrees isn’t so warm – but is warm enough that I don’t need leggings, and sleeves, and a t-shirt. My calf is being a bit annoying, so I want to keep it warm..otherwise, I need to be careful about not overdoing the layers the way I did at Manchester.

Now, I intend to wrap up N’s stocking presents. While he’s out with his friend S. N wants some cycling shoes for Christmas, but that’s going to involve going to the shop and handing over my card when he’s chosen what he wants, and won’t involve any wrapping up. And that’s rather less fun on Christmas day. I’ve not completely completed the Christmas Shopping. One or two entirely impossible to-buy-fors are getting glass baubles from Venice as their presents.

xxx

Let’s have some knitting pictures….

Because, why not? I’m feeling chipper: last night I started playing the Disney Album I’d bought for Scouts and Guides, for a Disney Song Quiz activity. Kicked off with Let it Go at the top of my voice while walking back from the station (my neighbours adore me) and by the time I was in my pjs, I was leaping about like a deranged toddler who’d had one too many Percy Pigs. 45 minutes of frenetic singing and dancing later and I collapsed. Very happily. 


I should take more photos. 

Xxx

I admit defeat

Evidently, I’m not going to manage to regain that 3lb anytime soon. So I have scoured eBay, and found two pairs of jeans a size smaller than my ‘usual’ size. This should have the effect of making my ‘usual’ size actually fit again. eBay being my only hope – they no longer make this cut of jeans. And it’s the only cut I’ve found which doesn’t gap at the back of the waist.

I generally admit defeat somewhere around the point where it occurs to me, after a day’s wear, to try getting my jeans off without undoing them. I was successful…

On the plus side, I did have a lovely day with Mum yesterday, got to cuddle a three week old baby (So delicate! So farty! Such delicate little farts!), put her Christmas Tree up, complete with 500 lights – I’ll take pictures when we’re there for Christmas, finally mailed the last of the Christmas cards and presents, and then went into town for Brownie Promises. The weekend was also fun, with a trip in for the Running Club Christmas Dinner (we didn’t really stay to dance, because the music wasn’t to our tastes, but we had a lovely time, and I think N is nearly ready to join), and buying N some wellies to go to Venice with next week (must add hold luggage to the flight. It’ll be simpler. Between two pairs of wellies, and wanting to bring back at least three glass Christmas Tree Decorations, I think we’ll want it). Running is slightly falling by the wayside – I managed 3.5-ish miles at lunchtime. It’s hard to tell exactly how far I went, as the Strava trace puts me inside several buildings. The perils of running in the City of London. Right now, I’m averaging 15 miles/week, down from 20. But that’s fine. Two nice mid-week runs, parkrun plus a longer run on Sunday (or just a long run on Saturday), and nothing in the diary until the Pednor 10 on 31st December, and the Box Hill Knacker Cracker (or Cracker Knacker?) on New Year’s Day. Which supposedly involved fancy dress (why? I have No Idea What To Wear. Perhaps I could get a black running top and some ears and a tail and be a kitty cat? WITH A BELL! I could take apart my morris bell pads…).

Was shattered by the time I got home last night (the train running late didn’t help matters – and the cold weather just adds to the tired feeling), and had to go straight to bed. And then fell asleep while listening to Cabin Pressure. Which I don’t usually do. That’s N’s job.

xxx