Apparently, according to the foot-woo lady, my hormones are all out of whack and it is very very bad to go running because it will cook my eggs internally. According to N Clomid made me really hard to live with (I didn’t think it was *that* bad, but apparently not…). Clomid may, also, have prevented ovulation…yay. Six months of no gain whatsoever, but making life wretched for those around me. I wanted to cry by the time we’d finished a thorough 1.5 hour review. On the other hand – it was a very thorough 1.5 hour review. And, perhaps, with a bit less stress, and a bit more taking care of myself, we can sort it out.
Add in a rather wretched parkrun (it is very, very hot. I didn’t push. I still nearly collapsed, and my heartrate? Peaked at 203 BPM. Averaged at 188. Probably not very good for me. I flopped over into child pose at the end of it all (I’ve read that it’s very good for reducing cortisol levels: i.e. stress hormones).
Either I am very, very, unfit. Or it was really just too warm. I suspect a combination. This time last year, I’d run well over 500 miles. This year? I have just got to 200. I have reduced my running by 3/5. I’m not running as intensely, I’m not running as much. I have not yet spent more than 8 hours a month running (according to Strava). And yet I still get told off about it. You go running. That’s terrible for you. You shouldn’t go running (poor N got told to not run, not cycle and not drink beer. Which basically hits 3/4 of his favourite things. The other thing being supporting Spurs).
This is the problem with infertility. You spend a lot of time being told it’s your fault. Your diet. Your exercising habits. Your weight. Your stress levels. You you you you you.
Except everyone who is telling you this imagines that they’re telling you nicely, and that they’re not telling you it’s your fault. But maybe if you do x, y, z differently…then you can get pregnant the way so many other people seem to manage so easily!
You know. All those people who are doing exactly the same as you are doing currently.
I think we can safely say I’m just fed up today. Perhaps tomorrow will be better.