Oh now, this is ridiculous

Today’s excitements

1. Largest bra too tight (have bought bra extenders). Really cannot face buying any more bras, even secondhand on eBay. This one has apparently lasted a week before becoming too small. Will have to investigate less cantilevered bras with more room for manoeuvre. Feel like Dolly Parton crossed with Pamela Anderson. But less glamourous.

2. Maternity jeans fall down (tried braces. Loo trips turned into epics of contortion and the braces kept pinging off, which they never did on my skiing trousers). Have bought bump bands, as the hairband trick on the pre-maternity jeans merely results in my flashing the world my underpants unless I’ve managed to find a long enough top. I don’t have many of those… I think said maternity jeans are a size too big (hand-me-down from my SiL). Bit more bump, and they’ll be fine. In the meantime, I may just flash the world…

3. Is it really healthy to eat an entire tub of Dairylea in one sitting? Because I really, really, really want to do that. I have tried drinking half a pint of skimmed milk, and it’s just not quite hitting the spot. I’ve had half the tub. Some of it made it onto toast! And it does have way fewer calories in it than a McDonald’s milkshake. But, then again, most things do.

4. N is in Japan. I had the whole bed to myself, and had one of the better night’s sleep I’ve had in a while. I don’t think this is entirely coincidence. I still had to get up (hello bladder!) but I didn’t wake up as much.

5. Blood thinning injections produce smaller bruises, and do less bleeding, if you stick a can of pop on them afterwards. Then you can drink the pop (apple juice and fizzy water), and that takes the edge off the whole experience. The closer an injection is to your belly button, the more it hurts. Alas, this was the only spot on the correct side that didn’t have a bruise on it. Fortunately, wfh means I can wail and be a total drama llama as much as I like, because no-one will hear.

6. I think I need to go to the loo for the third time this hour. All together now, for the wee-wee song (to the tune of ‘My Darling Clementine’)

Need a wee-wee (x3)

Need a wee.

Need a wee-wee (x3)

Need a wee.

And on that note…


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