It’s taken me about two weeks to fully process the First Run Back. It felt like a total disaster. I had downloaded the Get Running app, so I could follow the Couch to 5K programme. I had music and water. It was a lovely evening with a golden light.
So I spent half the “run” in floods of tears (it never was going to be helpful to start and end proceedings on a Strava segment on which, by some miracle, I am still QOM). I didn’t wear my Garmin, as the battery was flat. It was effortful. It was slow. It was dispiriting. My cheerful songs depressed me, and my pelvic floor kept letting me down, and my core was, frankly, non-existent. My bra was inadequate and walking involved frankly obscene levels of bounce (a natural result of going from 32B to 34C.). I weighed a stone more than my best running weight and the only good thing about the whole episode was that my running shorts weren’t too tight.
I spent the rest of the run trying to engage two sets of muscles that I’d never really bothered about, got home, and sulked a bit.
Three weeks on, and matters have improved somewhat. I’ve skipped week 2 of Couch to 5K and am on week 4. I have run every other day. I have usually covered 2 miles by the end of the session and my floor and core are beginning to play ball. I actually forgot about my floor today and there were no oops moments. All hail the NHS Squeezy app while feeding…. I still can’t muster more than a 10 min/mile at best (marathon pace was about 9 min/mile, half marathon about 8:30….). I am not yet ready for parkrun, and the general sleep deprivation is definitely having an impact.
On the other hand, it feels good to be out. I had not run in 7 months. I had grown the cutest small human in the world in the interim. I am able to sustain 5 minutes plod at a go, and most of my running gear accommodates me (I hesitate to say “fits me” because it’s kinda subjective). I am in the realms of pre-pregnancy weight, and acutely aware of how my weight slows me: and I am OK with this. It took stopping breastfeeding for Serena Williams to get back to her actual pre-pregnancy weight and it is fine if I get a bit stuck en route too, as I haven’t got her resources.
I’ll take that