I had a lovely day with my bridesmaid, trying on pretty dresses in two different shops. Safe in the knowledge that Dad said on Wednesday he would buy me a dress if I wanted a new one and didn’t want to wear the re-made one bought 10 years ago, when I was engaged to the wrong man.

But, the thing is, the two dresses I liked the most cost the better part of £2000. Dress #3 and #4 were £1000. Mum keeps sending me dresses seen online, for £500 but this is not something I can buy unseen at all, and I can’t see that I’d manage a trip to those suppliers anytime soon. Plus they’re all actually quite vile (or, rather, the sleeves is all wrong for my arms. Or I have weird arms. Seems more likely).

So I’ve just sobbed my eyes out because there’s no way I could ask dad to pay for something that would pay for  at least three years of heating bill, and I know I’m going to end up wearing that dress refitted and remade. I can’t decide if I’m being ungrateful or what. I have a dress. It’s a perfectly ok dress. I just don’t feel like I have a choice, because I’ve been brought up not to spend money unnecessarily, and, frankly, I’ve been brought up far too well in that regard.

this really is stupid. And dwelling on it won’t help. I wanted it out of my system, and it pretty much is. I’ll u the rest of my annoyance with myself and the situation to whoer it up at tomorrow’s half marathon.